To Holly at the AP, Thanks, but no

Dear Holly,

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. I’m flattered that you saw something of interest in my writings. I saw the comment last night and have spent some time mulling things over. Much to my own surprise, I’m going to decline your invitation to discuss Elizabeth Edwards.

You are correct, there is no contact information on this blog. It is anonymous for a reason. It is my place to rant and rave about whatever crosses my mind without fear of reprisal. I have other blogs where I identify myself, and I craft my messages more carefully in those spaces to insure the respectfulness that I believe is necessary for our coexistence on this planet. Here is where I blow of my steam of Righteous Moral Indignation. Venting is good, but it is not always conducive to peaceful coexistence. I don’t advertise this blog, nor do I share the URL with people. If per chance people stumble upon it, I welcome feedback, but do not view it as a requirement to continue to write (yeah, I know this seems a little odd in light of my Sally Field post, but tough).

I’m not naive, I’ve probably revealed enough here that someone who REALLY wanted to find me could (no, that is not a challenge to all the psychos out there :).

I’m also not afraid of confrontation, and I am more than willing to discuss and if necessary defend my opinions, but in the case of Mrs. Edwards, I have said all I feel comfortable saying at this time. I do not wish to further any discussion of the so called “Mommy Wars“. Not that you were necessarily headed that way, but if I were to discuss Mrs. Edwards, I would like to do so in the context of her work with her husband’s campaign and by conscious choice, I have not been paying too much attention as of late. The election is more than 1 year away, yet both sides of the aisle started campaigning late last year. While I believe in the democratic process, in the immortal words of Dennis Miller, “Hey Cha, Cha, I have a life to lead”. The field of candidates will shake itself out and they will all eventually share their positions of the issues of importance to me, or they won’t and I’ll judge them based on that lack of information. Right now, I have children to raise, a marriage to enjoy and a business to run. Oh and rants to rave in anonymity.

So Holly of the AP, thanks for the invitation, but I respectfully decline and wish you good luck in your continued search.

Reesie

What’s wrong here?

I first read the story about a mother who left her 2 children aged 1 & 4 in a car on an 88 degree day in South Carolina via an AP report. As is typical of AP (by necessity most times), it was a very top level report. I had to know more. I found a detailed article here.

My first response is fury with the mother. What the HELL was she thinking??????? But upon stepping back, maybe she was thinking “Well, it’s 3pm now, the sun will go down soon, and it will be a little cooler then, plus, the kids will go to sleep, if I can get through this shift making barely minimum wage, then maybe we can have dinner for the rest of the week and I can by diapers, but if I call in, they’ll fire me and then we’ll be out on the street. So, it is stay in the car for a few hours or live there for months. Hmmmmm, what to do, what to do.” Desperation can talk you in to doing things you otherwise would never consider.

Everyone must be held accountable for their actions, and this ranks up there with COMPLETE STUPIDITY, don’t get me wrong. But if the woman is working a 3-11 shift and living in an extended stay hotel, then, my guess she probably doesn’t hold an MBA, and quite possibly, she is struggling to make the ends come within the same zip code never mind meet. The availability of affordable, flexible childcare in this country is a HUGE problem.

One that has dire consequences.

Peace be with you Triniti and Shawn.

Hey GM, are you listening?

I attended BlogHer ‘07 in Chicago. It was an amazing conference. Like any conference they had corporate sponsorship. I don’t have a problem with that especially when the sponsors’ messages aren’t SHOVED down your throat. No, at BlogHer, the sponsors were very unobtrusive.

GM sponsored the opening reception. It was delightful. To tell you the truth, I was actually looking for a GM representative, but never found one. I wanted to share some of my desires for my next car, so if no one minds, I’ll just do it here.

I have a 2003 Honda CRV, that I adore. Wen I bought it three years ago, I test drove several GM vehicles, including the Trailblazer and the last of the Blazer’s. While I liked both, there was no way I was going to purchase any vehicle with such atrocious gas milleage.

I live in a area where I NEED all wheel or four wheel drive. The CRV was the best combination of all wheel drive, fuel efficiency and safety for my money.

I’ll own it in a year an plan to keep it for another 2-4 years after that. So GM, you have at least 3 years to build me a car that a) can seat 5 comfortably, 7 on demand, b) has all wheel drive or on demand four wheel drive, c) has good safety ratings AND d)gets a minimum of 25 (preferrably 30) MPG city ( I am painfully aware that none of the mini SUVs get that kind of mileage, but a girl can dream can’t she?). If you can’t do that, I’ll be buying the Toyota Highlander. But hey, and thanks again for the shrimp wrapped in bacon, delish!

BlogHers Act! My Issue

As I mentioned, I’m attending BlogHer this year. BlogHer wants to know about my hot button issue.

Education.

I have a lot of hot button issues, but this is one that I think everyone can get behind and impact locally, and globally.

I live in a state that struggles to adequately fund public education solely through property taxes. Now the courts are involved. Our legislature is up against a deadline and it is getting heated with no real sign of resolution anytime soon.

Kindergarten is not required in our state! Most of those districts that do offer it usually only offer half day programs Helloooo?

No Child Left Behind is a joke. The intentions are good, but the results are disastrous. So, sorry Uncle Sam, but you can’t lay down mandates and set standards expecting to get results without providing adequate funding. The only difference these days is that teachers teach our kids how to succeed on standardized tests. They don’t have time to teach the kids skills they will actually use in the real world.

Oh and don’t get me started on education of the disabled. I live this hell annually with my kids. By law, districts can’t talk about money, but the reality is that the bottom line drives every decision a district makes on a child’s behalf. This has to stop. There also has to be an end to the “learn it our way or no way“ mentality in public schools. I firmly believe this would cut the number of kids in Special Education by at least 1/3. If you don’t get phonics, you are screwed and that just isn’t right. We all have different learning styles and teachers need to be given the latitude, time and resources to teach in ways that accommodate all students. Go listen to Flowers are Red by Harry Chapin.

But education extends beyond our children. Education or the lack of it touches everyone. It is time we made education at all levels more accessible and affordable. You don’t need a degree from Harvard to put a roof over your head and food on the table, but in this day and age, a high school diploma doesn’t even qualify you to live at the poverty line.

Education doesn’t have to be 4 years of college. Education means, mentorships, internships, technical training. There needs to be more of it and at a lower cost. SInce we’ve got so many people that are so far behind the curve, we also need to look at providing resources to support those that truly want to make more of their lives e.g. college dorms for mothers (or fathers) with kids.

The old adage holds true, if you give a woman a fish she can eat once (okay twice, we women are ingenious like that), but teach her to fish and she thrive for a life time.

It is time we gave everyone a REAL chance to thrive.

Toddler on a Plane

Well just about everyone else has weighed in on this issue this week, I think it is my turn.

3 Cheers for Airtran Airlines!

Hip Hip Horray

Hip Hip Horray!

HIP HIP HORRAY!!

I feel qualified to comment on this scenario as I am the proud mother of two kids under the age of 7, one of whom is pushing every limit of the terrible twos.

Kids will be kids. BUT parents must be parents. If the child is three, I can guarantee this is not the first time the child has had a tantrum. It happens anytime, any place any where and all to often parents can’t or won’t deal with it.

Traveling with kids presents challenges, but it can be done with a little planning and preparedness.

My 2.5 year old is a great kid, but he is a piece of work too. I know this, I plan for this when we travel. I schedule direct flights if it will be under 2.5 hours and connecting flights for farther distances to give him time to burn off some energy. I try and schedule flights during nap time. Air travel can also lead to ear infections in some children. My pediatrician suggests giving my kids a decongestant 1/2 hour prior to boarding. This has the added benefit of making them a little drowsy (I’m not suggesting that you unnecessarily drug your kids, check with your doctor to see if this is appropriate for your child).

Both kids have their on bags stuffed with favorite toys, food and comfort items. My husband and I limit our carry on items so that our hands are free to deal with the kids. I explain everything that is going to happen (They’re going to call our row, we’re going to walk down a long hall) and I set expectations (you will hold Daddy’s hand and then climb into your car seat). You can’t expect kids to remember from flight to flight. You have to go through your list prior to EVERY departure. There have been incidents (like I said cute kid, piece of work), but they have been small and quickly calmed. Singing seems to help him collect himself. On our last flight, the woman on the asile, joined in on my rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. He was fascinated with the idea that someone other than his mother would sing for hm.
Too often today parents don’t take action. They kind of shrug and say “Oh well, kids will be kids”. No, I’m sorry parents, it is our responsibility to guide them and at that age control them.

As for Airtran, I seriously doubt that they remove people from a flight lightly. I’m sure they made an effort to have the family control the child. I know I may be in the minority, but I think they did the right thing and frankly went overboard with the refund and the free flights.

The Smartest Guys In the Room

The Smartest Guys in the Room. The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron by Bethany McLean and Peter Elkind.

I wasn’t directly affected by the Enron scandal, and with so much going on, at the time of the great fall. To me it was just another news story, but I know that thousands of people lost everything. In the energy giant’s collapse.

Light reading this book is not, especially for someone so numbers illiterate as I. It is equal parts fascinating and disgusting. You look back at it and say “How could they (the banks, Arthur Anderson, the Enron Board of Directors, the analysts) have missed what was going on??????? Yeah, it was the roaring ‘90’s and many of us were living high, but these guys were in the stratosphere. It is clear people wondered, but no one spoke up.

Prior to reading this book, the piece of the story that caught my eye the most was Lea and Andy Fastow and the plea bargins they cut, especially Lea. I remember being furious that her deal fell apart because the government wasn’t willing to insure that she and her husband would not go to jail at the same time. The Fastow’s wanted one parent to be with their children at all times. I can understand that, but shouldn’t you have thought about how your actions could have negatively impacted your children earlier? Given the scale of Andy Fastow’s illegal actions. I don’t think they had a lot of bargaining power. Obviously the government disagreed because the Fastow’s did not serve concurrent jail terms and ultimately he was only sentenced to 6 years. From what I got out of the book, he was the mastermind behind so much of the fraud committed against investors, but Lay and Skilling lead the parade. It is the ultimate case of the emperor’s new clothes.

It is dense, but I do recommend it.

A Message To the Democratic National Party

It has been almost a month now since the mid-term elections. I hope by now you’ve realized that the Democrats didn’t win, the Republicans lost. There is a difference.

The Republicans were doing it wrong, but that doesn’t mean the Democrats were given carte blanche by the voters, even this registered Democrat. I don’t want to see our taxes sky rocket. I don’t want to see all the time, effort and lives invested in Iraq wasted.

I do want to see civil liberties respected. I do want to see an end to corruption, scandals and favoritism in Washington and Corporate America. I want to see us get out of Iraq, but as gracefully as possible. Let us not leave that country in worse shape than when we found it.

As a party, the Democrats have less than two years to demonstrate to the American public that they can get their acts together and that they can govern better than the Republicans. It can’t be business as usual or all of those hard fought battles will have been for not and there will be another Republican in the White House come 2008. The party has to focus. They need to understand what issues the voting public REALLY cares about and address those issues.

Here’s my short list:

1. Protection of Civil Liberties. If law enforcement wants to listen to my conversations, they’d be bored to tears, but they better have a convinced a judge that it is a worthwhile effort and obtained a warrant.
2. Better Education. No Child Left Behind is a disaster. The intention of the legislation was valid, but the outcome has sucked the creativity out of our education system and left teachers teaching to a test. And by the way, if Washington wants to mandate something and impose their will on The States, they had better be willing to pay for that mandate.
3. Lower healthcare costs. With the explosion of HMO’s Big Business has taken over healthcare. Gone are the days when a doctor actually had time to TALK with patients. Too many people can’t afford decent preventive healthcare which drives the cost up for everyone. I don’t pretend to know the answer here, but something has to be done.

Come on Democrats, FOCUS. Let’s make a difference when it really counts

A Night Without The Diaper Bag

An night without the diaper bag. It started some six years ago, an evening out for 7 women with young kids (at the time, the majority were infants). Our common tie is a university that for a considerable length of time was an important part of our lives. Most of us worked there in various roles (or married someone who did) at one time or another. Some went to school there. While it was a starting point, we’ve all moved on, and the ties that bind now run much deeper.

We all have kids and we’ve all been through hell and back. There was infertility that lead to adoption. Infertility that lead to births and even an oops. There is ADHD, PDD and a visual impairment. There are annoying spouses, and troublesome parents (our own and our spouses). There are work/life balance issues and money constraints. Three are full time stay at home moms. 4 are work at home moms Three own our own businesses and one is a professional writer.

One a month we get together sans kids (and thus their diaper bags) for a relaxing dinner and gabfest. Very soon we’ll need to change the name as shortly, none of the kids will be in diapers.

We tell stories and share gossip, but there is a fair amount of goods exchanged too. For example, I have yet to purchase clothing for my youngest child. He wears fantastic hand me downs. The group had a good laugh recently when we looked at photo of my son and realized he was wearing pajamas that originally belonged to the oldest child in the group. My boy was the sixth owner and last in the group to wear said pajamas. As with most kids clothes, they out grow them before they out wear them, so those P.J.’s made their way to another little boy outside our group. We also share toys, those that are out grown and those that will never be used. But the sharing isn’t limited to the kids. We have lent dresses, jewelry and once and a while volunteered a spouse for assorted duties.

The spouses don’t really know each other and it is probably better that way. Their lack of relationship gives us a place to talk freely about their annoying habits and other foibles. We’re all very different, but that is part of what makes the group work so well. The different perspectives enrich all of us.

Three years ago, I moved an hour and a half away from the area where the other six live. I can count on one hand the number times the distance has been too much for me to attend. I look forward to this night out all month. I’m working hard to make new connections where I now live, but The Diaper Bag Gang will always be a very important part of my life.

Some Insight Into My Politics

I am a Democrat in sea of Republicans.

Frankly these days it isn’t easy being a Democrat but I persevere because the radical right frightens me.

This article on Boston.com struck a chord with me.

I also liked this piece from Newsweek.

So, now you know.

New and Improved isn’t always an Improvement

I like to buy toys for my kids that I enjoyed as a kid but that is getting harder and harder to do.

It seems that manufacturers think that in order to appeal to my generation, that being Generation X or wait am I part of Generations Y? Ok, I know I’m not a baby boomer, but alas, I digress. As I was saying, it seems that manufacturers seem to think that in order to appeal to my generation, they have to improve on the toys that I had. Typically that means adding batteries to something that didn’t historically require them.

Take for example, the ubiquitous Sit and Spin. In my day, the joy came from spinning around, around and around until nausea set in. The folks over at Playskool didn’t think that was enough. No, they added lights and sounds to the Sit and Spin. Making it an obnoxious experience for everyone within a 50 foot radius.

This year. They made yet another “improvement”. Playskool released the Simon Says Sit and Spin. Pretending you are on a rocket ship spiraling out of control isn’t enough for children in 2006. No, they need to be TOLD when and how to spin.

You can call me an old fart, but my daughter didn’t know that her musical Sit and Spin made noise until we went to a new pediatrician’s office.

“Mommy listen their Sit and Spin makes noises”.

“Oh, isn’t that nice dear. Gives you something to look forward to at the Doctor’s office now doesn’t it?”

Someone gave us the Simon Says Sit and Spin for Christmas. I exchanged it for a ride-on toy for my toddler. Oddly enough, you have to pay for silence in this day and age. The one that didn’t sing and dance was almost $20 more than the Winnie the Pooh model I settled for. Now I have Pooh Bear pining for hunny or complaining about terrible traffic jams in my kitchen.

Where will it end?